Monday, April 11, 2011

Long Haul

Recently, I experienced a wedding. Not one I officiated at. Thousands of dollars spent on the wedding. A carriage. Megaphotgrapher. Caribbean honeymoon. Months of planning. Move into a house right away.

41 years ago, I married Christine. My drunk fraternity brother took pictures. We had no honeymoon, instead heading back to work (so we did not lose the job.) We had a one room apartment overlooking the shipyards. Much more low key. We have had a great marriage. Not without its up's and down's. But great.

I ponder. We spend infinite money, energy and time on the wedding. The Event. Yet very little time on the marriage. People tell me they have little time or money for a class, counseling, or even dating their spouse. The point of the wedding was the marriage. The point of the marriage is not the wedding. Too often, when the events of wedding, jobs, child-rearing are over, two people look at each other and say, in effect, "Who are you?"

We like big, flashy, new events. We post them on Facebook. We tell our friends. Long glacial stuff: not so much. Short high's have to do with things. Long haul stuff has to do with relationships. There is nothing wrong with a few short high' points. They do not, however, make for a rich life.

I believe "long haul" beats a series of "short high's" in the end.  What long haul relationship are you cultivating?

1 comment:

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