I have found that feedback usually comes in two basic forms: cloyingly "sweet" or (too) brutally honest or negative. The former is most often employed by the self-esteem folks who worry that every person is like over-ripe fruit: easily bruised. The latter is often voiced by the "religious" who view any person who do not hold up their norms as instant Hell material. Now, esteem and honesty are both important but really make ugly gods. I meet people every day who have been injured by these false gods.
Worshiping the "esteem" god yields people who are afraid a lot. They have not tested themselves in the real fires of life. Worship of the "honesty" god too often yields either liars or angry folks. Judgment crushes.
Jesus melded the two together. Mercy and the Law co-existed. It is true that this is harder to do than traveling to one pole or the other. But he did it. Those who follow him learn (you have to learn this) it too.
I think Mercy and the Law somehow faced off at the Resurrection (Easter) and became Love. It is a mystery that demands practice.
When you open your mouth (or speak to yourself) today, shun the poles. Live in the Resurrection. That is, embody Love and the tension between Mercy and Law.