What Guides You Through the Day? Your gut? Your feelings? Your intellect? Your experience? Luck? Whoever pressures you? Some hurt from the past? These all tend to issue forth in reactions. Not to say all reactions are not bad. I see a bear, I take off. Good primal reaction.
Reaction as a default strategy for living is a poor performer. There is a reason Jesus says, "Follow me" rather than "Admire me." Our reactions often get us into situations that crush our spirits and the spirits of others. Drugs, sex, greed all feel good. I can rationalize almost any behavior. The person who hurt me in 1985 is no longer around so why should he dictate my path? Pleasing people is a burden and just plain impossible. We need a North Star.
Follow. Jesus. In order to follow him, we have to be acquainted enough with him to know where to or how to follow. Spending some time each day dedicated to Christ develops a nose for where Jesus is leading. Scripture helps. So does silence. Add some unfiltered honesty about who you are what where you are and what you've been up to (he already knows but it helps for me to know he knows.) Oh, and silence. Skip the multi-tasking. How many dates would want your mind elsewhere and not focused on them?
Don't be afraid of silence nor surrender. We think not much is happening. Something is. If you are following, luscious fruit, along with trials, will enter into your life. Through both, you will become free.
Jesus makes a great North Star.